A Good Friend v A Best Friend
by kittlekat1
Summary: Five quotes, five short stories, five reasons why Dick, Wally, and Roy KNOW that they aren't just good friends, they're best friends. Rated T for safety!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own YJ, any of the characters, products, or quotes in this story. I have tweaked some of the quotes, but they ARE NOT mine. **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated (hint hint)!**

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><p><em>A good friend will come bail you out of jail...<em>

Dick knows that he's in trouble. He knows it. He doesn't even _try_ to deny it. He screwed up and Bruce is gonna throw a fit...

He turns to look for the reason why the splintery bench he's sitting on is shaking so much.

Wally has both hands over his mouth and is shaking, trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Dick demands, a little miffed that Kaldur isn't there yet to explain the whole 'undercover' issue to the police officer, who is still looking at them like they're filthy little liars.

"Dude," Wally can no longer contain it and has bent over, clutching his stomach, the laughter bouncing off of the walls and around the precinct, "that was _awesome!_"

Dick slaps his forehead, then realizes something-it _was _kinda cool that they tricked Ragdoll into locking himself into a safe, and it _was _kinda cool that those girls were into them, and it _was _kinda cool that Klarion the Witch Freak nearly blew himself up...

Dick's honest, real laughter, not that creepy cackle, echoes Wally's and the two boys are crying laughing, drawing weird looks from around the holding block as the police officers glance over to see why they're laughing so hard.

They're still laughing when, fifteen minutes later, Kaldur and a police officer come to unlock the cell, the police officer stumbling over himself to apologize, Kaldur shaking his head and looking like he's praying for patience.

_...but a best friend will sit down next to you and say, "Dude, that was awesome!"_

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><p><em>A good friend helps you up when you fall...<em>

Dick grunts as he hits the gym mat..._again. _For the last thirty minutes he'd been working to perfect a long-forgotten acrobatic move, and every time he got to a certain point, he face-planted from ten feet onto the mats.

Megan rushes over and helps him up, gently pulling him by his elbow. "Are you okay, Robin?"

"Yeah...'m good," Dick lies, covering his bleeding nose so that she won't be alarmed.

Megan sees anyways. "Oh my gosh! You're bleeding! Let me go get some tissues!"

She rushes out just as Wally rushes in, a familiar smirk on his face.

"What, Wally?" Dick scathes, but it sounds like _Whaht, Wawwy_ because of his bloody nose.

"Dude, you sound like there's a pillow stuck up your nose!" Wally's snickering, and that's never a good sign. Dick backs away, but he forgets that Wally's a speedster.

"_Oufff!_" Dick gets his breath knocked away as Wally trips him from behind, making him fall back-first onto the exercise mats. For a minute he sits still, trying to get his breath back despite his clogged nose.

Wally's laughing so hard he's crying besides him.

Dick kicks him in the shin from his prone position...hard.

"_Ouch! _Dick! What the hell?"

_...but a best friend will trip you again, then laugh hysterically._

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><p><em>A good friend will never ask for anything to eat or drink...<em>

Dick can't help but notice the differences between Conner and Wally as they sit in the Batcave, waiting for Bruce to get back so he can drive them (rather than uncomfortably piggy-backing on Wally, who tends to 'accidentally' dump people so he can laugh at them) to the mountain.

Conner never asks for anything, just sits silently, stoically, stiffly, on one of the chairs near the medical bay. Dick thinks that's funny, since he knows Conner eats nearly as much as Wally and _has_ to be hungry and yet has declined Dick's offer to get something for him to eat or drink..._six times._

Wally, however, is raiding the minifridge Bruce keeps stocked down there with a familiarity that comes from years experience. Dick chuckles when Wally looks up at him, grins, and continues eating whatever the hell is in there. Dick can even remember Bruce adding _popsicles_ to a grocery list, not because either of _them_ like popsicles, but because _Wally_ likes popsicles.

"You sure you don't want anything to eat, Con?" Dick asks for the seventh time, gesturing at Wally. "Just help yourself. Wally never asks."

Wally laughs with his mouthful. "Dude," he mutters around a sandwich, "the last time I asked to use your fridge was when we were, like, _eight._"

_...and a best friend will simply help themselves to everything in your fridge._

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><p><em>A good friend will borrow your stuff and then bring it back...<em>

"Thanks for letting me borrow your extra flashdrive, Rob," Artemis says, dropping the little gray stick down on the table besides Dick's breakfast plate. "It's clear again. I just needed it for my project."

"Anytime, Arty." Dick finishes eating and goes to get dressed. He spends fifteen minutes searching for his favorite red shirt and comes to the obvious conclusion.

"WALLY!" he shouts across the hall, towards the slightly open door with music pouring out of it loudly.

"YEAH?"

"DO YOU HAVE MY RED SHIRT?"

"PROBABLY!"

Dick rolls his eyes and goes across the hallway shirtless to go check for himself. He's not surprised that Wally's room is an absolute pigsty, covered with posters and pictures and books and science reports and clothing and instead goes directly towards one of the dresser drawers. Within three minutes of searching (enough for Wally to finish singing a _horrible_ pop culture song by some wannabe), Dick extracts his red _Gotham Knights_ t-shirt and yanks it on over his head.

Something with an _R _on it catches his eye in the drawer just as he's about to close it, so he looks back and realizes that it's one of _his_ training manuals. He grabs it and paws through the rest of the drawer, realizing that most of the stuff is _his._

"Dude, why don't you ever bring back anything you borrow?" Dick asks, turning his head to where Wally's sprawling on the bed with a sci-fi novel.

"Why would I bring it back?" Wally asks, honestly stumped. "If you want it you know where it is."

Dick thumps his forehead, flicks Wally's-"Ouch! Why? Why do you hit me?"-and goes across the hallway with _his_ training manual, two sweatshirts, a first aide kit, a dictionary, and a thesaurus.

_...but a best friend has a drawer full of your stuff because 'you know where it is'_.

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><p><em>A good friend calls your parents 'ma'am' and 'sir'...<em>

"Hey, Uncle Barry," Wally greets his uncle (practically father) as he and Dick toss their shoes in the foyer, skateboards under their arms.

"Hey, Walls," Barry calls back, looking away from his science experiment that's going on (against all rules) on Iris's new kitchen table. "How was the skateboard?"

"It's great. Me and Dick are gonna go play video games, 'kay?"

"Yeah, sure! Hey, did you doyour homework?"

"Study hall fourth period!" Wally calls over his shoulder as he paws through the fridge while Dick watches him with his typically amused expression before turning to Barry.

"Hey, Uncle Barry," Dick says, and Barry grins at him the same way he did Wally.

"Hey, kiddo. Didja have fun?"

"Yeah, it was great." Dick goes over to the pantry and hands Wally the package of Oreos Iris 'hides' in there and takes the offered glass of milk. "Dunking contest?"

"Wait up a sec, here. You're forgetting the grand master champion," Barry boasts, pushing back his chair and quickly grabbing a glass of milk, taking only a millisecond to stand before the two boys with his own Oreo cookie.

"Boys! For goodness sakes, didn't I say to stay out of the cookies?" Iris asks, exasperated, as she comes in with her briefcase.

Dick wipes a milk mustache off his chin. "Hi, Aunt Iris. How was work?"

Wally nearly blows milk out of his nose when he remembers how awkward is had been to have Kaldur over, how he kept calling Iris and Barry 'ma'am' and 'sir'.

"Dude," Wally snorts, finally regaining a normal breathing pattern, "I just realized. You call my aunt and uncle _your _aunt and uncle."

Dick smirks at him. "You call Bruce 'Bruce', and everybody else calls him 'Batman' or 'Mr. Wayne'."

Wally shrugs. "Calling Bruce 'Bruce' is close enough to calling him 'Dad'."

_...but a best friend refers to them as 'Mom' and 'Dad'...or an equivalent, in this case._

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><p><strong>Bad? Good? Half-way decent? I'm still tweaking around with some different ideas...this one just came up out of nowhere and it seemed cutsie. <strong>

**Review, please, please, please, please, please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you guys so much for you reviews! I appreciated them all and am adding Roy the mix! Tell me what you think! **

**I do not know YJ, Facebook, or any other product, person, or place in this story. **

**Enjoy! **

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><p><em>A good friend will tell you that she's not worth it...<em>

Roy slumps dejectedly on the roof, overlooking Star City's impressive skyline, absently holding his bow. He had asked a girl out during his criminal physcology class and was shot down like nothing else, subjected to smirks, sneers, and the coldest brush off he'd ever been through...and he used to live with _Ollie._ He sighs and wishes for action.

His comm-link crackles. "Robin to Sp-Red Arrow."

Roy touches the commnication device in his ear. "_What_, Dick?"

"Jeez, jeez." Dick sounds tired but his normal mischievious self, like he's smiling through the comm-link. "Just checkin' in. You okay, man?"

"KF to Red Arrow. You okay, Roy?"

Roy slaps his forehead. There is very rarely Dick without Wally and Wally without Dick. Where Dick was concerned, Wally was.

"Yeah. Fine." The lie's flat. "Well...that girl. Coley Barnett? I asked her out. She shot me down."

"Ouch, bro," Wally sympathizes, and Roy realizes Dick's clicking on something in the background. "What are you doin', Dick?"

"Robin and KF out." His comm-link buzzes and both boys are gone, and Roy stands there stupidly for a minute.

The next morning, Dick e-mails him and tells him to go on Facebook and look up 'Coley Barnett'. When he does, he bursts out laughing-only a hacker could do such damage.

_...but a best friend will trash her Facebook._

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><p><em>A good friend will pick you up when your car breaks down...<em>

Wally and Dick sigh and lean back on the hood of Wally's rusty, crappy little truck, staring at the horizon in hopes that Roy's red sedan will bust over it any second now.

Dick glances at his best friend. "You called him, right?"

"Yeah, dude. He said he'd be here soon."

"_How_ 'soon'?"

Wally doesn't answer the question. Thirty minutes later, it starts _pouring_ down rain. Both boys scramble into the car, but by the time they get off the hood, Wally finds his keys, and they jump inside, they're soaked. Shivering, cold, and miserable, both boys watch the horizon for another thirty minutes...then another...

Finally, Roy's cheap sedan bumps over the deserted road and pulls up so the hoods are across from each other. The boys scramble out and rush to the car, struggling to get into the back seat and warmth.

Roy turns back to look at them with a smirk on his face. "I told you that crappy truck wouldn't make it."

Wally glares at him. "Shuddup and dri-you stopped and got _Starbucks!_ Dude! _So_ wrong!"

_...but a best friend will make you wait an hour or more, stop to get Starbucks, and tell you that they'll be there 'soon'._

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><p><em>A good friend will be there when she breaks up with you...<em>

Wally and Dick giggle as they sit at the breakfast table the day after Roy calls and tells them that his girlfriend Annie broke up with him over a text. Artemis and Megan give them weird looks and note that both look a little tired, but don't say anything.

"Okay, call him, call him," Wally urges, pushing his yellow phone at Dick. Dick whips it off the table, still laughing, and presses the speed dial, putting it to his ear. Megan and Artemis shoot each other warning looks and start to retreat out of the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Roy, it's us," Dick says, and Roy's wary because Dick's _giggling_ and he can hear Wally _giggling _in the background. "Go by Annie's house, _right now_, okay?"

"W-why? It's six in the morning," Roy yawns, but Dick can hear him moving around and grabbing something jangly-keys, probably.

"Just do it, 'kay? Call us when you get there." Dick hangs up and he and Wally resume giggling, the phone in between them.

Ten minutes later the phone rings and Wally snatches it using his superspeed, turning it on speakerphone.

"You two...are horrible." But the boys can hear Roy trying not to laugh. "Bruce is gonna kill you, Dick. TP's considering vandalism."

"Not if it's trees," Dick says innocently, and the two snap off the phone before Bruce can hear them. Not that that's every worked.

_...but a best friend will TP her house._

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><p><em>A good friend will call 991 when you get hurt...<em>

Roy, Wally, and Dick simultaneously groan as Ollie, Barry, and Bruce storm into the hospital room, their eyebrows furrowing.

"What the _hell_ were you three _thinking_?" Ollie rages.

"I can't believe you three pulled that stupid stunt!" Barry scolds.

"Explain. _Now_," Bruce orders, glaring at the trio.

One hurried explanation involving motorcycles and Wally using his superspeed on rollerskates later, all three mentors look like they're mentally face-palming and are shaking their heads, probably asking themselves, _why us?_

"Sorry," Dick apologizes meekly, but the movement hurts his recently dislocated jaw and he grips it in pain.

The mentors ignore this and lay out their punishments, and even Roy takes it quietly, despite him being eighteen. Finally, Barry sits down on Wally's bed and says, "Kaldur sent out the 991 call...but how did you three _all_ end up dislocating your jaws? _And_ breaking your right arms?"

Wally grimaces and looks over at Roy and Dick, who grimace back. "Dude, we are _stupid._"

_...but a best friend will be lying in the hospital next to you with a strikingly similiar injury, saying, "Dude, we are stupid."_

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><p><em>A good friend will drop off soup when you're sick...<em>

Roy coughs, a watery, barked cough that makes his throat raw. The soup Dinah had dropped off was unappealing and not helping him feel better. His throat, chest, and head hurt, along with most of his muscles. He normally did not miss Ollie, but he misses him and his constant worrying now.

Just as he thinks this his apartment door flies open-"Don't blame me, Dick picked the lock!"-and Dick and Wally waltz in, arms laden with Walgreens bags and Blockbuster videos.

"What're you doin'?" Roy rasps, not moving from his spot on the couch.

"We bring cough drops, water bottles, NyQuil, Aspirin, and Alfred's cookies," Dick dictates, pointing as he unloads his bags, "And Kleenex and orange juice."

"And horror movies," Wally wags the movie at him with a grin that nearly breaks his face.

Roy rolls his eyes. "You're gonna get the flu if you stay with me," he warns, but his voice is weak and hoarse.

Both roll their eyes and Dick throws a bag of cough drops at him. "Shut up and suck on that."

Wally snickers and Dick whacks him on the back of the skull. "Ouch! _Why_?"

Dick ignores that, sets up the DVD, and the two ply Roy with medicine, cookies, and orange juice. They stay with him for two days, one or the other going out for groceries or movies, but one is always with Roy.

A week after Roy goes back on patrol, Bruce radios him and tells him that the boys are sick with the flu.

_...but a best friend will come armed with most of Walgreens and a good chunk of Blockbuster, fully prepared to share your misery a week later._

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><p><strong>Again, thanks so much for the reviews! <strong>

**Tell me what you think-I might add more if ya'll think it's worth persuing...**

**:) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to all the reviewers, especially KrC for coming up with the first quote! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own YJ or any people, places, or things mentioned in this story.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em> A good friend would knock on your door...<em>

Roy's just getting out of the shower when he hears the door swing open from the front of his apartment and someone yells, "WE'RE HOME!"

Roy smacks his forehead and groans when he recognizes the voice-Dick, with Wally in tow, no doubt. Ever since Roy got himself this crappy, bug-infested, rat-inhabiting, complete-forgoing-of-any-basic-construction-code apartment, the two younger boys had made a habit of barging in whenever they felt like it. Roy learned to keep the door unlocked; one, he is a big kid, and trained to fight, so the 'bad' neighborhood doesn't particularly scare him, and two, if the door is not open, Dick simply picks the lock while Wally plays look-out.

"THIS ISN'T YOUR HOUSE!" Roy yells back, yanking on his clothing.

"SURE IT IS!" Wally shouts, and then the TV's playing.

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"MAKE US GET OUT THEN!" Dick calls, and both boys groan at something. Dick says something indistinct and Wally laughs.

"I WILL!" Roy threatens, throwing his towel in the vague direction of the laundry basket.

"NO YOU WON'T!" Both boys tease back, and Roy can see them rolling their eyes and giving each other looks like, _does he think that scares us_?

"WATCH ME!"

Both snort and Roy finally pulls on his shirt, striding out to the living room and grabbing Wally by the collar, reaching for Dick as he vaults out of the way. Wally yelps and squirms like a puppy. "OUT!"

Dick smirks. "Gotta catch us first!"

"Dude, it's _on_!" Wally grins, snapping on his goggles and twisting free. For a moment Roy stands, stunned, and then gives chase. A half hour later he flops onto the sofa.

"FINE! YOU WIN!"

Dick and Wally are suddenly on either side of him, Dick with the remote, Wally with a tub of popcorn with _Star City Theaters_ written on the side, probably from down the street. "See?" Dick says casually, turning up the volume. "Told ya it was our home too."

_...but a best friend will walk in and yell, "I'M HOME!'_

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><p><em>A good friend will wake you up with a phone call...<em>

Dick groans tiredly as his phone rings and fumbles for it on the end table. When he gets his hand on it he throws it as hard as he can to the opposite wall, and smiles when he hears it crack. It's a Wayne Tech phone-he can fix it later. Meantime, it isn't ringing.

A few seconds later, his communicator buzzes from said end table. Dick briefly wonders why they don't just come in from the rec room if they want him to wake up. He knows nothing is wrong because he doesn't _hear_ anything except for the TV and Artemis dimly arguing with Wally, so he throws his communicator in the same general direction as the phone and curls up on his side.

Ten minutes later, Kal sends Wally to wake Dick up so they can go 'out on a normal teenage day', as Megan says, and Roy tags along, having arrived earlier that morning to collaborate with Kaldur.

The two immediately notice the two broken devices and glance at each other, deciding the best course of action. With a grin Wally sprints to the bedside, leans over Dick, and starts poking his cheek. Roy rolls his eyes and leans against the headboard, looking down interestedly.

Poke-poke-poke-poke-poke-poke-p-

Dick's eyes snap open and he whips around, smacking Wally over the head with a pillow and finishing a forehand swing to hit Roy with it, too.

"Hey!"

"Dude! Not cool!" Wally shakes his head, obviously miffed that Dick got he shot in.

"Don't wake me up like that..._ever._" Roy snorts at his disgruntled expression, and Wally turns tail and _runs._

_...but a best friend will wake you up by poking your cheek...repeatedly. And obnoxiously._

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><p><em>A good friend knows a few things about you...<em>

Roy sighs from his position between Dick and Wally, wondering when he became so vulnerable to puppy eyes.

"Alright, Kal, you start." Megan picks up a card from the pile in the middle of the gameboard-_Games that Get to Know Each Other_, it reads-and reads it. "What is one thing that you know about the person in front of you?"

Dick grins at the Atlantian from across the table, and Roy and Wally look at each other skeptically. They are among the privilaged few who know anything about Dick.

Kaldur frowns. "He is technologically gifted."

Wally snorts disdainfully. "Bro, we all knew that one. You can't say something that's obvious."

"He is black belt in several forms of martial arts," Kaldur tries again.

Roy rolls his eyes. "_Everybody_ knows that."

Artemis leans across the table aggressively, ready to pick a fight with either (or both) redheads. "Well, Mr. Uber-Archer, why don't _you_ answer the question? What do _you_ know about Robin?"

Dick's face goes from amused to horrified as Wally and Roy exchange dangerous smirks. He has a sneaking suspicion he isn't going to like this, and he opens his mouth to protest.

"Robin's allergic to peanuts," Roy starts.

"He couldn't swim until he was ten," Wally continues.

"He got stuck up on a roof once."

"He got stuck _down_ in a _mine _twice."

"He was half-drowned four times."

"He was kidnapped six times."

"Batman put a tracker in his left wrist-"

"_Roy!_" Dick whines, blushing brilliantly red. The team is awestruck, shocked at how easily the Boy Wonder blushes. Or perhaps that he has a tracker in his wrist.

"-because Robin disobeyed him and wandered off on patrol," Wally finishes.

"He has _no_ sugar tolerancy."

"Or caffiene tolerancy."

"Bad sweet tooth."

"_Guys!_" Dick wants nothing more than to crawl under the table. Megan blinks and looks down at the card for a moment before she glances back up.

"I didn't need the biography," she says timidly. Wally and Roy grin, and Dick shakes his head, mortified.

_...but a best friend could write a very embarassing biography about you._

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><p><em>A good friend will hide you from the cops...<em>

Wally, Dick, and Roy press themselves against Artemis's apartment's wall, breathing heavily as the sirens and red and white lights pass, throwing light against the far walls of the small living room. Artemis, wearing pajamas, looks at them with a displeased expression.

"What did you three idiots _do?_" she demands, low so she doesn't wake her mother.

"Long story. W-" Dick's cut off when a thunderous pounding shakes the whole door.

"POLICE! OPEN UP!"

Roy curses lowly under his breath. Artemis's jaw goes slack and she turns to glare at them. "What in the _hell_ do I say to them?"

"I don't know-lie!"

"I am a _hero,_ I can't lie to the-"

"POLICE!"

Artemis groans and throws open the door, furious. "I heard you! Please, my mom's sleeping! Keep it down!"

For the next ten minutes she is asked question after question. No, she didn't see anything suspicious, no, she doesn't know what they're talking about, my goodness how awful. When the police officer finally apologizes and leaves, Artemis shuts the door quietly but whips on the three boys furiously.

"_Now,_ what the _hell_ did you three morons _do_ that makes it _okay_ to not only _break into my apartment_, but use my apartment to _hide_ from the _police_ and make me a co-conspirator?"

Roy jerks his thumb over at Wally, too tired to fight with her. "Kid Can't-Stop here ran too fast and went right through a jewelry shop's window. Alarms and lights _everywhere._"

Artemis starts snickering. "God, that's so dorky."

"Shut up!" Wally's face goes tomato red. "What do you know?"

Dick shakes his head. Bruce is going to kill him. He knows it.

So he grabs Wally's finger and jerks it backwards, making him yelp.

"_Why _do you feel the need to _hurt_ me? Dude, that's _not cool!_"

_...but a best friend is probably the reason they're after you in the first place._

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><p><em>A good friend will tell you that the scary movie wasn't anything to be scared of...<em>

Dick throws his hands over his eyes as a particularly gory scene eats up the screen, making both Roy and Wally laughs. Kal, on his other side, pats his arm sympathetically and winces at the bloody sight.

Dick didn't even know what movie it was-some guy in a hockey mask with a chainsaw, something about Texas, maybe. All he knows is that he's scared to death. Quite literally.

"'Kay, Dick, you can look now," Wally teases, flipping on the lights as the credits roll twenty minutes later. Dick hesitantly looks up, and seeing the black screen, scrambles off the couch, announcing that he's going to bed. Roy casually says good-night, Wally smirks at him, and Kaldur comforts him: "It's just a movie, Robin. Don't be afraid."

Dick denies that he is.

But he is.

Finally he falls into sleep, more from exhaustion then actual comfort. The gruesome scenes still stay with him as he curls up into a ball on his side and drifts off.

_Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!_

Dick shoots into the air with a scream and whips around to get face to face with the masked chainsaw killer. He shouts a curse word and fumbles backwards, falling off the other side of the bed in haste and trembling from fear.

That's when he realizes that the chainsaw doesn't have a chain on it and that Roy is at the door, bent over laughing.

Dick glares as Wally takes off the mask, tears rolling down his face from laughing so hard. "Oh...dude...you should've...should've seen your face," he laughs, bending over to breath.

"You two are idiots!" Dick throws a thesaurus at Wally and a dictionary at Roy, making both of them laugh harder when they realize that Dick's still pale and shaking from shock and terror. "You guys suck!"

_...but a best friend will sneak into your room with a chainsaw, just to scare the hell out of you._

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><p><strong>Always up for feedback! Thanks again, KrC! <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own YJ, any people, places, or things. **

**Thanks to Adoglover5 for the first quote!**

**Reviews are fantastic! Enjoy!**

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><p><em>A good friend will try to talk you out of bungee jumping...<em>

Roy shakes his head as Dick hooks up a bungee cord to a particularly stable looking bolt in the bridge. Wally's grinning besides him, obviously picking up on Roy's displeasure.

He has no idea why _Dick_ of all people wants to go bungee-jumping. He jumps off of much larger structures than this bridge as a nightly occurance and Roy doesn't see how it can be much a thrill anymore.

That, and Roy's never enjoyed leaping off of big buildings like Dick and Wally have. He does it, sure-but he doesn't _like_ it.

"'Kay, Roy-Boy," Dick chirps, standing back and admiring his handiwork. "You first."

"What?" Roy backs up, eying them warily. "I'm not going first."

Wally grins. "Scared?"

"No!"

"Then go first, man. It's cool. Just jump." Roy glares at him but comes forwards.

"Okay, it's easy. I'm gonna hook you up by your feet and then you ju-"

Wally's foot connects to the small of his back and Roy yelps as he tumbles over the side, towards the river. Training takes over and he twists sideways and shoots a roped arrow at the cliff face on either side. He swings down and catches himself on the face by his feet, looking up to glare at the two howling younger boys, outlined by the full moon.

"You two are _DEAD!_" Roy yells, scrambling up the cliffside and stomping towards them. Both boys are still bent over, cackling evilly. "You could've killed me!"

"You had your arrows," Dick points out, still laughing.

Roy reaches forwards and smacks their heads together-hard.

"Ouch!"

"Roooooy!"

_...but a best friend will tie the bungee cords to themselves and push you off_.

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><p><em>A good friend will be in the congregation when you get married...<em>

Wally twitches nervously at the organ music plays in the back of the church. It took nearly a year to realize it, then about four months to work up the guts to ask, then another three weeks to _convince_ her...

Wally shakes his head in disbelief, making Kaldur in the third row look at him puzzledly and Uncle Barry beam from the first row. That had been _seven_ years ago, and he still can't look at her without getting butterflies in his stomach.

Then the doors open, and the bride is coming out. Wally's face lights up and he feels like he's in elementary school again, a school-boy crush on the most amazing woman in the world. To his left Dick grins and pats his back reassuringly. Roy, just behind Dick, says so lowly only they three can hear, "_Great_ choice, man."

Wally doesn't care about his playful sarcasm. She and Roy had made amends six years ago.

She climbs the steps up to the alter and looks up at him with her gorgeous eyes, a small smile on her lips.

Wally hears Dick snicker under his breath and the priest begins, but Wally only has eyes for his spitfire...for his best friend, for his right-hand girl...Artemis.

One year later it's _Wally_ at Dick's left with Roy besides him, both of them softly teasing him and using his acute hearing to their advantage as Dick's childhood sweetheart (and the childhood fixation of Roy's and Wally's lust) glides up the aisle, her red hair characteristically _everywhere._ Barbara Gordon-Babs-took nearly as long as Artemis to convince, but Dick is happy with the results.

About a year and a half after Dick's married, Roy takes the alter in the _same_ church, and Wally and Dick are at his left side, snickering. He's marrying a little brunette from his criminal pyscology class, who sat _next_ to Coley Barnett-a forensic scientist named Kara Kesler. She takes the superhero stuff in stride. Roy can't be prouder.

Barry, Bruce, and Ollie just chuckle and mention that they keep _recycling_ their groomsmen.

_...but a best friend will be standing at your left at the alter._

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><p><em>A good friend will watch your kids for you...<em>

Wally and Roy, along with their wives, adoptive dads and moms, Bruce, and Diana, hover anxiously outside the hospital room, where a lot of _screaming_ is going on. For some reason the youngest of the trio, Dick, is the first to become a father. Babs is pregnant-or rather, in labor-with a boy, to be named Bruce Alfred Grayson-Wayne and go by Tripp-the third Bruce of the family, for his adoptive great-grandfather and grandfather.

About an hour later, Dick comes out and grins at them. "Wanna come see?"

Of course they do. The whole troop comes in and Babs grins them, still sweaty, pale, and looking exhausted, but holding a little bundle of blue blanket in her arms.

"Hey, guys," she says, and Dick comes to her side to put an arm around her shoulders and underneath his new son. "Wanna come see Tripp?"

Bruce is still a little choked that Dick's naming his first son after him, even though Dick changed his identity to _Nightwing_ two years ago.

Wally and Roy are bowled over immediately by the shock of red hair and the bright baby blue eyes that could only be on the son of Barbara Gordon Grayson-Wayne and Richard John Grayson-Wayne.

"How's it feel to be uncles?" Barry teases, but he sees the same absolute adoration in their eyes, and in Dick's, that he has whenever he looks at his kids, at Wally. The girls worry over Babs and Bruce claps Dick's shoulder.

But Wally and Roy are still amazed with the little boy in their best friend's, and his wife's, arms.

_...but a best friend was there when your kids were born._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will back you up in a fight...<em>

"We fight pyschos, villians, thieves, robbers, rapists, murderers, drug dealers, megliomaniacs, and the power-obsessed every _day_," Wally had thrown off with a waved hand and a snort, "How hard could it be to roll over some idiots?"

"Yeah," Roy had urged Dick, eyes alight and ready to go, "C'mon and help us out."

Dick rolls his eyes, steps into the man's right hook, and twists him over his shoulder.

"I thought you said it was _some _idiots," Dick shouts, watching as Wally tosses a guy into the bar besides him, "Not a _battalion_!"

"I didn't know they had these many guys!" Wally shouts back, getting a right hook in the face in the process. "_Jeez,_ dude!"

"We're outnumbered!" Roy reports, kicking a large man's feet out from underneath him, "With more comin'!"

"Ask Kid Idiot what the hell happened to 'some'!" Dick yells, throwing a heel into someone's solar plexus. "Let's bail!"

"Kinda in a jam!" Wally grunts, pinned under two men and unable to use his powers.

"Got 'em!" Roy shouts, but is overtaken.

"I got it!" Dick handsprings over a table, kicks one man off of him, then grabs the other by the back of the wrist and yanks until he hears something pop and the man cries out in pain, scampering away. Wally grins up at him and Dick helps him up before both scatter for the back door.

Dick thinks, at the last moment, to turn and yell, "Let's _move,_ Roy!"

Roy disentangles himself, hurdles an overthrown table, and rolls out of the door past Dick. Dick whips around, slams the door shut, and pulls two trashcans over the doorknob as it shutters, people going after them.

Dick narrows his eyes at Roy and Wally, who are laughing, still on their adrenaline-high. "You two are idiots," he scathes, but he's already giggling.

_...but a best friend is probably the reason why you're in the fight in the first place._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will give you a ride home when you're drunk...<em>

Dick and Wally shake their heads as Roy stumbles out of the bar, obviously smashed. Being the oldest by nearly three years has it's perks; Roy's twenty-one. Wally unlocks the door and Roy fumbles inside, reeking of whisky.

"Hell, Roy," Dick waves his hand in front of his nose, "Hittin' the hard stuff, I smell."

Roy slurs something and collapses bonelessly on his side. Both turn and give him worried looks before a lightbulb pops into Wally's head.

"Dude, I got the _best_ idea."

"I already like it."

Wally and Dick drive to the local high school, where a football game is going on. It's nothing to sneak into the locker room during the fourth quarter. Wally holds Roy up while Dick turns the shower on as cold as it will go, then steps out of the way, nodding to Wally.

Wally pushes Roy under the stream. Immediately Roy yelps and thrashes, even as he crashes to the tile. The two boys howl with laughter as the whisky reek floods down the drain and Roy rubs at his eyes, trying to make sense through the thundering headache even as the cold water chills him.

"Wh-wh-wh-"

"You really shouldn't hit the hard stuff, Roy," Dick clucks, turning off the water and helping his unsteady friend to his feet, "It makes you _unaware._"

Wally takes a less sophisticated approach. "Dude, you should've seen your _face!_"

_...but a best friend will dump a freezing cold bucket of water on your head and laugh through your hangover._

* * *

><p><strong>Good? Okay? Absolutely horrible? Tell me what you think! <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everbody for the reviews-so great to hear from ya'll! **

**Special thanks to P for the quotes-I'm running out! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own YJ or any people, products, things, or places mentioned in the story.**

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will give you their umbrella when it's raining...<em>

Wally and Roy huddle underneath the awning of the convience store and look out onto the rainy streets of Gotham, waiting for the third part of their 'Troublesome Trio' (Wally's a little offended that the League calls them that-it's hardly _their_ fault that they continue to leave dangerous toys out in the open. Really, didn't they learn _anything _from Uncle Barry?).

"Did you bring an umbrella?" Roy asks hopefully, knowing fully well that the speedster did not.

"No." Wally digs his hands into his sweatshirt pockets and shakes his head, already getting that nervous, jumpy feeling from being in civvies.

Roy sighs, gets out his wallet, and turns to the convience store. "Stay here," he orders, and disappears inside. Within two minutes Roy's back out, this time armed with a black umbrella.

Wally's face lights up as Roy yanks it open and the two step out, sharing the umbrella's cover. For a minute, they walk, dry. Then...

Roy hisses as the umbrella's torn from his hand and a little red rainsuit dashes between them, disappearing. Roy stands frozen for a minute, then yells, "HEY! Dick! We're getting WET!"

Dick's laugh echoes through the rainstorm as he disappears around a corner. "Run, dude, run!"

Roy looks over at Wally, who stills looks nonplussed. "You're the speedster, man. _You_ go get him."

Wally shakes his head, then stares up at Roy with beaten green eyes. "Speed has nothin' to do with it, Roy-Boy. Dick is _ninja. You_ go get him."

_...but a best friend will steal your umbrella and yell 'run, dude, run!'._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will help you learn to drive...<em>

"I will never get in a car with you again," Dick huffs, his cheeks turning red as he strains to push the car up the slick hill.

Wally tries to speed up, but only manages to splash Roy and Dick on either side of him with mud. "Whoops. Sorry."

"Way to go, Kid Mud." Roy groans and pushes hard, managing to move the car two inches. "And I'm a _great_ driver, Boy Blunder."

"Don't call me that." Dick slips in the mud and hits his knees, making both of the older boys burst out laughing. "Shut up!"

Wally grunts and strains. "Next time, get a Turbo. You get more money."

Dick launches himself from a crouch and digs his shoulder in, helping the car get a quick three inches more. Roy mumbles from the strain, "Don't you have some Bat-tool to help us out?"

"No. Bruce really doesn't _invent_ for these situations," Dick grumbles, and about twenty minutes later they finally get the car to the top.

Roy's rusty, dumpy, chipped-off, three-on-the-tree, four-door hunk of _crap_ teeters on the very tip of the thirty-foot hill. The three boys walk back fifteen feet, then glance at each other.

"No one tells Bruce," Dick orders.

"Dude-no one tells _Barry_," Wally demands, getting down into a runner's crouch and snapping on his goggles.

"Ready?" Roy asks.

"On three."

"Three!" the three boys yell, sprinting forwards. Wally's hands connect first, but Roy and Dick push just as hard and the car tumbles over, flipping over on itself and landing in Bludhaven Bay (known better as 'the Blood Bath') with an almighty _splash!_

Roy takes out his cell phone, dials a number, and says, "Yeah, hey. My car just rolled down a cliff and fell in Bludhaven Bay. Yes, I _know_ I'm covered."

_...but a best friend will help you push your car in a lake to collect the insurance._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will help you when you get lost...<em>

Roy glances back in his rearview mirror to check on Dick's progress with the GPS system. His computer gauntlet is shining, and he's tapping away at the hologram, trying to figure out their location.

Wally moves the compass upside down and muses, "You know that if you put a compass at the North Pole, it goes in a full circle? Magnetic pull. Saw it on Discovery Channel."

"Stop playing with my compass!" Roy snaps, reaching for it and making the car lurch into the other lane as he does so.

Dick squeaks in the backseat. "Dude! I will _not_ hesitate to roll this slightly less-crappy peice of junk down another hill if you do that again!"

"Just figure out where we are!" Roy grumbles and puts both hands on the wheel again. Wally tosses the compass into the cupholder and takes out the map, holding it awkwardly in the small space. "Find Highway 55. We're on I-12 right now."

"The red line?"

"Wally, how in the hell am I supposed to know?" Roy asks exasperatedly.

"It's blue," Dick corrects from the back. "Hey, found us! Take a left up here, Roy-boy."

Roy obediently follows Dick's directions for the next twenty minutes before he realizes that something is not quite right.

"Dick, where the hell are you leading us?"

"Highway 55," he says innocently. Wally sniggers, like he's onto something.

"In _Tokyo?_" Roy scathes, stomping the breaks. Dick yelps as the seatbelt digs into him and Wally smacks his forehead against the top of the car with an 'ouch!'.

"Oh, wait, did I tell you to take a _left_ back there? I meant a _right_," and Dick's smile is much too mischievious for it to be an accident. Roy balls up his fist and tries to hit him from the front seat, but Dick catches his wrist and tosses it away from him as Wally howls with laughter, obvious in on the whole thing.

_...but a best friend will mess with your compass and map and give you wrong directions._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will ask for your number...<em>

"Robin, I need you to write down your cell number, in case our comm-links go out again," Kaldur requests, passing Dick a peice of paper and a pen. Quickly Dick writes his name under Artemis's and scribbles down his Robin-only cell number, the one Wally, Roy, and people looking for _Robin_ use. "Thank you."

"No prob, Kal."

Dick goes back to decoding an encryption for Bruce. Within seconds, Wally slumps down next to him. He glances over but doesn't say a word; Wally's never needed prompting to talk, anyways.

Finally, Wally turns to him, and with an utmost serious expression, asks:

"Remember that girl yesterday at the movies?"

"Yeah." Pretty girl. Dark brown eyes and a sweet smile. Dick prefers redheads, though. Redheads named _Barbara Gordon_, especially.

"Did you get her number?"

Dick resists the urge to slam his forehead against his keyboard but hands over his cell phone. "Her name's Lindsey Clemmons."

Wally whoops and starts putting her information into his phone.

Dick rolls his eyes, glances over at Artemis, and wonders when Wally will get a clue.

_...but a best friend will ask for her number._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will let you make an idiot out of <span>yourself<span> in public..._

Dick struggles futilely against the newly installed Bat-net, trying to ignore the laughter from the milling citizens three stories below.

Roy groans and kicks up at the binding above his feet. "Get us _outta here_, Boy Blunder!"

"Workin' on it, _Speedy,_" Dick scathes, fishing out his pocket knife.

Wally starts vibarting nervously. "I hate-hate-hate-hate-hate being up in the air, Rob! Get us down!"

"Working on it! Shut up!" Dick reaches forwards and starts sawing at the thick rope when he catches a familiar shadow perched up on the top of the building. "Batman! Get us down from here!"

Bruce crosses his arms paternally over his chest. "I told the three of you not to come to this side of Gotham."

"I really hope Flash doesn't hear about this," Wally complains under his breath, twisting.

"Stop twisting!" Roy yells. "The ropes tighten!"

Wally yelps and stills immediately, still vibrating nervously. Dick continues sawing at a peice of the net, and Bruce chuckles quietly, obviously amused.

"Batman!" Dick whines, deciding to take the least mature route in hopes of coercing some help. "Pleeeeaaassseee?"

"Do you think GA's gonna be mad?" Roy worries, just as Barry in his Flash costume appears besides Bruce. His mouth drops open and he starts shaking his head, disbelieving.

"KF, why are you in a net?"

"Flash!" Wally twists and tries to stands up, only to fall through a hole in the net with a yelp of pain. "Ouch!"

Barry starts cackling as Ollie strides to stand on Bruce's otherside, one eyebrow up at his adoptive son's predicament.

Roy grins sheepishly. "Hiya, GA. Help us out?"

"Batman told you not to go on this side of Gotham," Ollie scolds, and Dick finally breaks through. A good wind blow at that moment and the whole thing swings, tossing Dick out and forcing him to swing stupidly at the end. The crowd laughs harder as his utility belt starts to slide down, until he's balancing it on his right foot.

Bruce still doesn't interfere.

Dick glares up at him. "If I fall, catch me!"

Dick lets go, grabs his belt, shoots up a grappling hook, sighs in relief when it catches, then...

"OUCH!"

Even Bruce starts chuckling as Dick spits out peices of dirt and dust off the brick he nearly swallowed before glaring up at the building he just face-planted into. Roy and Wally clutch their stomachs, laughing as hard as the citizens below and mentors above.

Dick smirks and throws a Batarang through the ropes holding the nets to the buildings. For two long seconds the nets plummet, sending Roy and Wally screaming downwards. Dick laughs and swings out again, cutting through their ropes and attaching both of them to the extra hooks within seconds of hitting the ground. As they land, the citizens point and continue laughing.

The boys blush, bumble, and eventually sprint up to hide behind their mentors, mortified.

_...but a best friend will be up there with you making idiots out of yourselves._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks again! Hope you enjoyed!<strong>

**I might try a 'A Real Brother Would Know...' chapter, just a few little 'a real brother would know' quotes and stories about the 'Troublesome Trio'.**

**I'm running out of 'a good friend...a best friend' quotes! SOS! **

**Tell me what you think! :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to all the reviewers, especially Adoglover5 and purpledragon6 for the quotes. Sorry-I had to tweak them a little! **

**This isn't my best, I do believe, but tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YJ, or anything, person, or place in this story! **

**Enjoy, and thanks again! **

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will give you lunch money...<em>

"Hey, Rob, I'm going out for pizza, we need some cash from you," Artemis calls bluntly, just as Dick walks in with a five dollar bill in hand. He notices Wally in the corner struggling with his pockets, probably looking for nonexistent cash.

"Here, Arty." Dick passes her the five dollars, and just as he lifts his hand, Wally darts between them and snags the five, dancing out of the way before either can react. Immediately both swing their head around to him, and he grins, tensing for a run.

"Dude, not cool." Dick reaches for the money, only for Wally to dash sideways. "Wally!"

"You stole our umbrella," he points out, dodging again.

"So you're stealing my _lunch money? _Bully."

"You don't need it, you're fat enough already." Wally pokes Dick's nonexistent stomach and makes Dick's cheeks flush up in embarassment. Being an acrobat means constantly worrying about weight.

"Wally!" Megan gasps, scandalized.

"Have _you_ carried him lately? He's not as little as he looks!"

Dick decides to ignore the sheer stupidity of that statement and smirks, realizing he has Wally in a trap.

"It's all muscle, unlike _yours_, Kid _Chub._"

"Dude!"

_...but a best friend will snag your money and say, "You don't need it, you're fat enough."_

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will say, "It's okay" when you say you don't want to go on the roller coaster...<em>

Dick snickers as he and Wally drag Roy towards the roller coaster ride, already amused with the shade of white Roy's face is turning. For someone who did death defying stunts on a nightly basis, Roy gets miserably motion sick-which makes riding roller coasters all that much more amusing, at least for Dick and Wally.

"Guys, I do not want to ride this roller coaster," Roy informs them for the sixteen times, dragging his feet against the cement. He knows this looks childish, but no one can really fathom the unpleasantness of motion sickness until cursed with it themselves.

"Scared, Roy-boy?" Dick laughs, subtly fingering a pair of handcuffs on his utility belt.

"N-no...just...wary..."

"It's a _ride,_ Roy. No one's even shooting at you!" Wally says perkily, shoving Roy into the little cart. Roy immediately attempts getting out the other side, only to feel something cold on his wrist. He tries to yank free, but Dick has already chained him to the safety bar. Roy yanks and pulls, but when Wally yanks him down to avoid a scene (when is Wally subtle?), Roy realizes he has no choice but to hope that he doesn't spew.

The ride starts quickly and goes up and down, side to side, shaking them like rag dolls. Roy has no idea why this is fun, but he likes hearing Wally and Dick howling with laughter and whooping besides him. The handcuff yanks on his wrist every now and then, and when the ride finally stops and Dick lets him go, Roy throws up violently into the trash can.

Wally and Dick high-five each other and laugh louder, making Roy look up, wipe his mouth off with the back of his hand, and glare at them.

"I'm going to attach _both of you_ to the back of my _car_," Roy threatens, and both shut up abruptly, because _nothing _is scarier than Roy driving.

_...but a best friend will handcuff you to the ride._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will wait for you after school when you get a detention...<em>

Dick grabs a sponge from the bucket besides him and applies it to the Batmobile, looking over the hood at Wally, who's working on the other side with Roy. "Why did you guys dare Conner to punch through the outside wall?" he asks, honestly curious.

"We knew you got into trouble," Roy shrugs. "We didn't want to get bored."

"So...you got yourselves into trouble...on purpose." Dick really can't fathom such logic, but decides that since it's Wally and Roy, it's easier to just let it go.

"Yep!" Wally chirps, grinning. "What'd you do, anyways, Boy Blunder?"

Dick flushes up. "I got into a fight with Jason."

"The evil brother or the little one?" Roy clarifies, still not clear with all the recent additions to the Bat-family.

"Dami's the little one, Tim's the middle one, Jason's the blond."

"Oh," Roy frowns, still not really clear.

"Didja win?" Wally asks.

Dick snorts. "'Course."

It's quiet for a few minutes, and then Dick asks Wally slowly, "Why are you doing this at normal speed?"

Wally frowns. "Huh. Didn't think about it, man."

"Well..." Roy gestures and stands up, backing away with Dick.

Wally grins, snaps on his goggles, and grabs a sponge. He starts sprinting, leaving a trail of bubbly water, and then...

_THUMP! _

Alfred pauses with his work downstairs and presses the intercom button to the Batcave. "Is everything alright down there?"

All he hears are the three boys laughing, and Wally groans, "Oh, man, my _head..._"

With which Dick giggles, "Way to go, Kid Cracked Skull, now we have to wash the floor too!"

"Dude...not...not cool..."

Roy just keeps laughing. Alfred turns off the intercom and decides that no, he does not want to go investigate on how Dick's 'detention' is going.

_...but a best friend will get into trouble just to get a detention with you._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will give you the last life jacket on a sinking ship...<em>

Dick glares at the coast line twelve miles away as the bioship drops at an alarming rate to the water. Megan can only carry two people on her energy sphere, and Dick promptly pushes Artemis and Conner. He grabs for a life jacket, but Wally snags the only one on board.

"Dude, you have superspeed. Give the _human_ the life jacket."

Wally snorts as he zips into it, clicking it with a finality that makes Dick roll his eyes at the drama. "I hope you can swim, man, because there is no way you are getting this life jacket."

"Jerk."

"Wonder Boy."

"It's 'Boy Wonder'..._Flash Boy_."

"Shut up!" Wally jumps from the ship in a dive and lands on the water easily, bobbing up promptly among the waves. Dick growls and wonders why, of all things, Bruce didn't put a life jacket in his utility belt, before jumping out and hitting the water with barely a splash. He surfaces and watches Wally speed-swim to shore with Kaldur.

"You might want to start swimmin', Rob," Artemis salutes from her dry position on the sphere.

"Go impale yourself on an arrow," Dick mumbles, and starts swimming while Artemis and Wally, up ahead, laugh their heads off.

_...but a best friend will grab the last jacket and say, "I hope you can swim, dude."_

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will ask what the hell you were thinking...<em>

"What...the hell...are you _doing_?" Artemis shrills, dropping the grocery bag on turning the corner into the exercise room.

Wally laughs shrilly and Dick immediately shoves his bags into Conner's hand, whipping around the corner only to be met...

With a giant slip-and-slide going across the massive exercise room.

"Oh my..." Megan gasps, looking awed.

"What did you do, Wally?" Kaldur orders, sounding baffled.

Dick swallows a chuckle just as the computer announces, "Speedy, B02."

"It's _Red Ar_-you know what, never mind. Ollie changes it anywa-oh, _hell._ That is not...Black Canary is gonna..." Roy looks just as stumped as Kaldur and the others. Questions silently buzz through the room, and when Roy looks to Dick, a sudden conclusion is made. The two look back at Wally with grins.

They are teenagers. What can you expect from them?

Dick asks the only queston that could possibly come into play:

"Why the hell didn't we think of this sooner?"

_...but a best friend will ask why the hell he didn't think of it._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks again! <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to all the reviewers! Always appreciated! **

**Special thanks to purpledragon6 and everyone else who contributed to the quotes! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own YJ or any person, place, or thing in this story!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will ask what's wrong...<em>

Wally digs his head into his pillow, grimacing at his sheer stupidity. Roy and Dick, in the doorway, exchange sympathetic looks.

"What do you think is wrong?" Roy asks softly, not used to seeing the other redhead so down.

Dick frowns, then grins. "I can find out."

Roy watches Dick ninja-stalk into the room, silently opens Wally's desk drawer, and takes out a messy bundle of newspapers. Dick steals back out of the room to the hallway, notes Wally hasn't budged, and quickly ticks through them.

"Wally keeps news clippings of us. Like a diary, sort of. We just need to find...there. Yesterday's date." Dick shows Roy a picture of Wally on the ground, his cheeks brilliantly red, looking mortified.

"What happened?" Roy asks, concerned.

Dick quickly scans the article, then winces. "Oooh. He was going at 200 mph and hit a pothole in front of a whole crowd of people. He went...oh, man...two miles and hit the ground so hard he caused _another_ pot hole. That was where the road rash is from."

Roy flinches. "Oh, man. All those people..."

"Flash laughing his head off in the background probably didn't help," Dick points out, pointing to where Barry is doubled over in the background.

Roy unfolds his legs and walks into Wally's room to sit on his bed and pat his back. "It's okay, buddy. Like those people never tripped before. Don't worry about it."

Wally looks up at him. "How the hell did you find that out?"

"Dick stole your diary."

"Dude! I _do not _have a _diary!_"

Dick snickers and waves the newspapers, then pats Wally's cheek condenscendingly. "I know how to get back at Barry, if you're interested."

Wally snaps up in bed, excited. "Seriously?"

_...but a best friend will read your diary to find out._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will let you couch-crash for the night when you're fighting with your parents...<em>

Roy sinks down onto the Young Justice sofa and peels his mask off tiredly just as Kaldur comes in with blankets.

"You cannot stay here permanently. Perhaps you should patch things up with Ollie," Kaldur reccomends, passing the blankets off.

"Yeah, maybe," Roy shrugs noncommitedly. "Thanks."

"Of course. Good night."

Roy watches Kaldur go and settles back on the couch tiredly, ready for some sleep. He's nearly drifting off when a familiar weight drops on his stomach.

"Ugh," he groans, peeling his eyes open. Immediately Dick's bright baby blues catch his gaze and Roy groans again. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no-"

"Hear us out." Wally leans over so that Roy is now looking up at the two. "Besides, Dick's on your chest. You really have no choice."

"You need to talk to Ollie," Dick pleads, crossing his legs and dropping all of his weight onto Roy. "He's kinda depressed. He really didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Roy-boy."

"And you're acting like a kid," Wally adds, licking a popsicle that wasn't in his hand a minute ago.

"Don't drip that on my face," Roy warns, swatting at his face. "I don't want to talk to Ollie. He stabbed me in the ba-"

"Not on _purpose_. C'mon. He and Dinah want you in their wedding, but you won't answer the phone. Please, Roy?" Dick begs, puppy-dog eyed. Roy groans again and sighs through his nose, knowing that he's been defeated.

"Fine. I'll talk to him in the morni-"

"See, Ollie? Roy'll talk to you know," Wally beams, holding a slightly windblown looking archer by the forearm. Dick laughs and leaps off of his chest, grabbing hold of Wally's arm just as Wally darts away.

Roy stares up into his mentor's apologetic face and sighs. "Dick and Wally won't give either of us a moment's peace until we talk."

Ollie smiles sadly. "I'll go get some coffee."

_...but a best friend will force you to talk things through with your parents._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will make you look good in front of your date...<em>

"He's kinda gruff."

"He kicks puppies."

"He spits on old people."

Roy frowns as he towels off his hair, trying to figure out who Wally and Dick are talking to. He didn't hear any knocking, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything, when you have one boy who was trained by the Batman...

_Oh, no, no, no..._

Roy throws his towel aside and stumbles out into the foyer, where his date has a hand over her mouth with shoulders shaking, eyes glimmering with amusement. Wally and Dick are leaning on either side of the door, tagteaming her.

"He dropped my baby brother on his head."

"He steals cable."

"He skips rent."

"He runs drugs."

"He sells liquor to minors."

Roy rushes forwards. "Oh, uh, hey, Kara. You m-met my f-friends?"

Kara Kesler's smile lights up the area. "Hey, Roy. And yeah...some friends you got."

Roy throws a glare at the two, who grin back innocently. "Yeah..._friends._ Ready to go?"

"Sure." Roy throws one more glare at the duo but starts after Kara, just as Dick mentions absently:

"You probably want to wear some _shoes,_ Roy. Just saying."

Roy flushes up brilliantly red and scrambles for his tennis shoes as Kara giggles in the hallway and his two 'best friends' laugh in his family room.

_...but best friends will do all in their power to mortify you in front of your date._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will spot you five bucks for a subway token...<em>

Roy groans as he rechecks his wallet. "Oh, crap."

"What?" Dick asks, handing over five bucks for a subway token.

"Forgot my five bucks at home. Can you spot me?"

Dick shakes his head apologetically. "Sorry, man. I only brought five dollars."

"Hey, Walls," Roy calls over to the redhead, who's flirting with two girls, "Have five bucks I can borrow?"

Wally looks afronted. "Hell, no, man." Then he snickers, coming up to the window. "Looks like you're runnin', Roy-boy."

Dick looks around Wally's shoulder. "Hey, that cute girl's checking you out."

"What?" Wally twists around just as Dick shoves five dollars into Roy's hand. Roy looks at him curiously and Dick shrugs.

"_He _can beat the subway, anyways," Dick points out, and the two go through the gates for the subway.

Wally whips back around and realizes his five dollars are gone. "Hey! Guys!"

"Looks like you're runnin', Kid _Oblivious._"

_...but a best friend will steal your money and tell you to start running._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will talk you out of a stupid dare...<em>

"You first, man."

"No way."

"You're the oldest, you're supposed to go first."

"No way. You're high as a kite."

"Well, _I'm_ not jumping."

"Well, then, we've got a problem, because _I'm_ not jumping either."

Wally and Roy glare down the side of the building as Dick cackles behind them, obviously amused with their predicament. The three had decided to play truth-or-dare, bored from the slow patrol, but now were rethinking it. After all, Dick always comes up with the most dangerous, most ridiculous dares...

"You both have to jump," Dick points out, chuckling. "You both chose dare."

"You jump!" Wally demands, pointing over the side of the Wayne Enterprises, one hundred and six stories up.

Dick shrugs. "Fine." He leaps off the edge of the building with a whoop, falling fifty stories, then swinging up to the opposite rooftop. "C'mon, cowards!"

Roy and Wally both suck in a deep breath, take three steps back, ready their grappling hooks, and-

Roy grinds to a stop at the edge of the building and watches Wally sprint over the side, laughing loudly as he screams and fumbles for his hook. Dick bends over to breath on the other side, laughing just as hard as the speedster grips hold of the building, cursing and shaking.

"Hey!" Wally yells, registering that Roy didn't jump. "Dude!"

"Payback for pushing me off the bridge!"

_...but a best friend will not only encourage you to do it but will promise to do it with you, trick you into doing it, and laugh as you epically fail._

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what you think! Quotes are always needed! <strong>

**Thanks again! :) **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for all the quotes, everybody! **

**Special thanks to shesXsuperXfreaky and cooliochick5! **

**This is the YouTube section. Disclaimer: I don't own YJ or anything, people, or place in this story, ESPECIALLY YouTube. **

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will look you up on Youtube...<em>

"See? _Kid Flash Hits a Pothole," _Dick points out, still in his mask as he points to the computer screen.

Wally frowns and leans over. "Really? That's what they have up? Dude! Just last week I saved some kid's cat from a tree, and someone puts up me getting road rash at two-hundred miles per hour? The newspaper was bad enough!"

"They have Red Arrow too." Dick taps in the search box and points out the long list of 'Red Arrow' hits. "_Red Arrow Takes Out Chesire, Red Arrow is Arrested_..."

Roy rolls his eyes and tries to look innocent as he presses record on his phone. "I was not _arrested._"

"Technically, you were. You were just let go."

"You're being stalkerish," Roy points out.

"I am not!"

"Are too," Wally teases.

"I am _not_ stalking _anybody._ You two are _right_ here."

"Sure, sure. Whatever..._stalker._"

Roy posts the video to Youtube the minute Dick and Wally leave the room, drifting for the kitchen and names it _Robin is a Stalker. _

_...but a best friend will post you on Youtube when you're not looking._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will help you out of a jam...<em>

"Roy, if you don't get me down from here, I will sneak into you room and use your own arrows to murder you," Dick promises flatly, turning in a slow, small circle as the ropes, binding him like a cocoon, slowly cut off his circulation.

Roy snickers and raises his cell phone, taking a video of his best friend's predicament. It's not every day that you see the infamous _Boy Wonder_ dangling helplessly above a vat of boiling water.

Dick curls away as a large bubble bursts on the top, giving off a sharp burst of hot air. "Roy, I mean it. Get me down."

"Chill out. I need this blackmail for later."

"_Blackmail?_" Dick squeaks, twisting to see Roy as the ropes turn him in another slow circle.

"Sure. _You_ aren't supposed to be out on patrol, mister, because _you_ nearly blew yourself up last night."

Dick twists and squirms, suddenly alright with being boiled alive. "Fine! Fine! Just don't tell Batman and get me down!"

"I haven't demanded anything yet, Boy Blunder."

"_Arrrooooowww!_" Dick whines.

Roy zooms in on the video screen, so it just has Dick's slowly reddening, sweaty face in the shot. "Say, 'Red Arrow is the best hero ever.'"

"I'm going to kill you, _Red Arrow_."

"Not if you're stuck up there, you're not. Besides, Batman is _eventually_ going to track you down and he'll kill you before you get to me. So say it."

Dick sighs and rolls his eyes. "Fine. Red Arrow is the best hero ever."

"Say, 'Archery is much cooler than acrobatics'."

"No way!"

"Fine, stay up there."

"I will!" Dick suddenly realizes the stupidity of his statement and groans, "Archery is much cooler than acrobatics."

"Alrighty, then." Roy climbs up and cuts Dick down, helping him out of his binds. Dick does not stop glaring at Roy all night.

Of course, when Bruce confronts Dick the next morning with a certain _YouTube_ video, called _Robin's Stuck_, Dick grabs his Batarang and activates Roy's tracker.

That boy is going to _die._

_...but a best friend will videotape it and use it as blackmail._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will keep a secret...<em>

Dick glares silently at Wally as he shoves the video camera up into his face, grinning like a madman.

"How old are you, Rob?"

Dick narrows his eyes.

"What's your favorite color?"

Dick considers punching Wally through the camera.

"C'mon, man. The children of Gotham will _love_ this! Think of it as being a spokesperson for people with teeth problems everywhere."

"I do _not_ have teeth problems! I got my teeth knocked in!" Dick protests through a mouth of gauze, but it sounds like _Iduhnaughtharvteefprowbwems! Igaughtmyeteefknaukedihn!_

Wally cackles. Dick glares.

"You promised not to tell anybody!" Dick whines, but it sounds like ___!_

Wally laughs anyways and rushes to the computer. Dick glares but does not move from the sofa, pain killers making him dizzy and tired.

The next morning Bruce presents him with _another _YouTube video: _Robin's Lisp. _The creators of the videos?

_RA01_ and _KFCool. _

Dick adds another name to his _Going to Murder_ list.

_...but a best friend will post it on the internet._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will hand you a napkin when you spill your Coke...<em>

Wally grins at Roy across Dick's shoulders as they lounge on the rooftop of Wayne Enterprises, kicking their feet out at the sky. Dick holds an open-lid cup of Coke in his left hand, sipping absently.

Wally presses record in time for Roy to shove Dick's elbow forwards. Dick yelps as the Coke ends up all over his lap, and Wally whips the phone out.

"Whoops. Sorry, Boy Blunder," Roy chuckles as Dick registers the phone.

"Hey, Fleet Feet, what the hell are you doing?" Dick demands, swatting for the phone.

Wally cackles and sprints to the end of the building, saves the video, and sprints back. Dick's eyes narrows, but just then, an alarm goes across the police scanner on Roy's other side.

Bruce stomps downstairs the next morning to ask, "Why haven't you taken their video cameras yet?"

And this is because the newest video on Youtube's _Robin _channel is _Robin Pees Himself. _

_...but a best friend will scream, "You peed yourself!"_

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will have a camera at opportune moments...<em>

Dick smirks at Roy and Wally, who are still masked and in costume but sprawled out over the sofa, sound asleep. The two sleep on opposite ends of the couch, but the idea is planted in Dick's head as he consideres all the Youtube videos the two had made that week.

Dick skillfully manuevers Wally over to Roy and settle the two against each other. Roy mumbles but drops his arm from off of the top of the couch, resting it on Wally's chest. Wally sighs and leans into Roy's shoulder, unconcerned.

Dick leaves and comes back with a bucket full of water and a giant bath fizzler, setting the bucket in Wally's lap, who fidgets but does not wake up. After assuring that no one was coming, Dick drops the bath fizzler in the water, takes five steps back, and starts rolling from his phone.

Within twenty minutes the bubbles have completely consumed the two. Dick snickers, braces himself, and yells, "HEY GUYS!"

"Wha?" Wally jerks up, dripping with bubbles. "What the...hey!"

"What's..." Roy gags underneath the bubbles and fights free, shoving Wally off of him. "What the-_ick_-hell? Why are there bubbles everywhere?"

Dick snickers and dashes off. The next morning, Roy and Wally find a video called _Red Arrow and Kid Flash Take a Bath_ on Youtube...and are _not _happy with the resident acrobat.

_...but a best friend will create opportune moments to photograph._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to everybody! Kinda cheesy, kinda cute, tell me what ya'll think! <strong>

**:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to all the reviewers, especially Hawkpool, Littleblackkitteh, purpledragon6, and Girl who gets everything! Couldn't keep doing this without these quotes! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own YJ or anything, anyone, or any place mentioned in this story. **

**Enjoy! **

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will watch whatever's on TV...<em>

"Hand over the remote, Timmy."

Dick rolls his eyes at the scene before him, cross-legged on the sofa. Roy and Wally are cornering Tim into a corner, while Tim clutches the remote control to his chest, feet braced and teeth clenched.

Jason, besides him, snorts. "_Greaaatt_ friends you got, Grayson."

"Timmy, give us the remote," Wally orders slowly, creeping forwards.

"Tim, just give it to them. They won't let up," Dick calls, then looks over at Jason. "Better than _yours._ Matt stole a car last week."

"We _caught_ him."

"So?"

"DIICCCCKK!" Tim whines, and there's a loud thump as Roy sweeps his feet out from underneath him. A twenty minute wrestling match continues as Tim shrieks, Wally and Roy yell, and they all squirm and wrestle for the remote. Wally finally wriggles free, triumphantly holding the remote over his head.

Jason snorts again. "My friends might steal cars, Grayson, but _yours_ steal remotes from small children."

"I am _not _small!" Tim whines, crawling into Dick's lap to pout.

"Good job, bro, you swiped the remote from my baby brother," Dick teases as Roy flops downwards besides him and Wally sprawls out on the floor.

Wally snickers. "Dude, he's pratically _my_ brother, and I steal the remote from both you all the time. What were you expecting?"

Dick laughs as Roy chuckles, Jason rolls his eyes, and Tim pouts.

_...but a best friend will wrestle your brother for the remote. _

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will take the blame...<em>

Bruce, Barry, and Ollie stare down at their wards as they try to fathom where exactly they went wrong.

Dick is thirteen. Wally's fifteen. And Roy's eighteen.

So why in the hell are they all playing in the mud?

Bruce can no longer take it. "_Richard Grayson, get out of that mudpit!"_

Dick freezes, stares up at Bruce, then trudges out, hunching his shoulders and looking pathetic. Wally and Roy look at each other, then up and Barry and Ollie. Wally sees the look Barry's giving him-the patented _Iris is going to kill you _look-and follows the acrobat, but Roy stays longer and tries to fight the reflex to just obey Ollie. He then realizes there's no point staying in the mud by himself and walks out, glaring at Ollie just so he knows he's not obeying orders, this is his choice.

Facing their mentors, the question hangs in the air: _Who's fault? _

"Roy!" Dick and Wally both point at him from either side, and Roy glares at them, betrayed.

"No way are you pinning this on me! Dick thought it looked like fun and Wally ran in!"

"But you followed! And you pointed it out!" Dick protests.

"_You_ pointed it out!"

"It's not my fault," Wally decides, backing away with his hands up.

"Is too!" Faced with a common threat, Roy and Dick turn on Wally. "You ran in first!"

"Well, Dick had the football!"

"Dude, I have a _life jacket_ in my utility belt, _of course_ I had a football! What's that got to do with anything?"

"You didn't have life jacket last week!"

"What?" Roy asks, looking between them confusedly. Bad idea.

"Roy said mud football was fun!" Wally protests, pointing his finger at him.

"Yeah! Blame Roy, he's the most 'mature'," Dick scathes, also pointing.

"_Me?"_

Bruce puts up both hands, getting a headache. "Honestly, now. Who's idea was it to go play in a huge mud puddle?"

The three look at each other and shout and point:

"DICK'S!"

"WALLY'S!"

"ROY'S!"

Barry and Ollie smack their foreheads while Bruce looks up at the sky pleadingly.

_...but a best friend will insist that it's __your__ fault. _

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will give you a ride to school...<em>

Dick smiles as Roy's less-crappy red sedan pulls up in front of Wayne Manor and jogs towards the passenger door. "Hey, Roy."

"Mornin', Dickie." Roy unlocks it, but just as Dick touches the handle, he accelerates, grinning.

"Haha," Dick scathes, going forwards. Again, the minute he touches the car, Roy accelerates.

They go like this halfway down the street, Roy pumping the gas five feet, Dick walking up behind him with gritted teeth. Dick finally becomes fully irritated and lunges for the passenger door just in time for Roy to speed ten feet forwards.

Dick groans. "Hell, Roy! What the hell?"

Roy grins and flicks his sunglasses down over his eyes. "It's a beautiful day, Boy Blunder. Walk."

Dick glares as the red sedan peels out and rockets down the road. He sighs when it's out of sight and looks up to the sky in time for a huge raindrop to hit his nose.

"Dude, wasn't Roy supposed to give you a ride?" Wally asks, holding back a smirk as Dick stumbles out of the transporter, sopping wet after his walk across the town.

Dick shoots him a murderous look and Wally bursts out laughing.

_...but a best friend will say, "It's a beautiful day, walk." _

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will help you move...<em>

"Look, just shove it underneath a box or something," Dick whispers sharply, yanking a man's unconscious form away from the streetlight and towards a high stack of crates.

"Do you do this often?" Wally asks, speeding another unconscious man to the crates and shoving him underneath one.

"Listen," Roy hisses, "I didn't really _mean_ to knock out all these people, and if GA finds out, he's gonna pissed. I agreed to stay on the other side of town."

"So we're hiding all these unconscious people?" Wally clarifies, hurrying back to get another guy.

"How was your aim that far off?" Dick wonders, neatly arranging his thug in a horizontal box.

"Well...I mean, I meant to hit _one_ of the guys, not all of them. Wrong arrow," he shrugs and jams another one into a crate.

"I can't believe we're hiding bodies," Wally groans. "We look like murderers!"

"Yeah. I kinda feel like one," Dick admits, rubbing his hands off on his uniform. "Ugh...how long till they wake up?"

"Uh...thirty minutes?"

Wally and Dick look at each other and jam the last body into a box.

"I'm leaving," Dick declares, shooting his grappling hook. "See ya, Red."

"Thanks, guys," Roy says sheepishly, and the two roll their eyes as Wally grabs Dick's arm and sweep out of sight.

It's quiet for all of two seconds.

"You really shouldn't teach those two how to hide bodies, bud."

Roy groans as Ollie strolls into the alley.

_...but a best friend will help you move the bodies. _

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will take your drink when you've had enough...<em>

Dick howls with laughter as Wally stumbles away from the table, leaning over the sink with a distinctive green color to his cheeks. Roy smirks and waves his shot glass of wasabi at Wally.

"Dude, you have _no_ heat resistence," Roy laughs. Wally spits, wipes off his mouth with the back of his hand, and staggers back to the table, sitting down opposite of Roy.

"F-fine, hot stuff," Wally chokes, still gagging, "_You_ take a shot."

Roy laughs and tilts his shot glass again. "Bottoms up."

Dick stands up he's laughing so hard as Roy gags, drops the empty shot glass to the table, and weaves his way to the sink, groaning and splashing his face with cold water.

Wally refills both glasses but still looks green as Roy finally drops back into his seat, wiping off his flaming face.

After two more rounds, neither boy has thrown up yet, and Dick's side is in stitches from watching his two friends gag, choke, and pretty much torment themselves doing shots of wasabi.

"You guys better stop," Megan warns, looking concerned. "You look sick. It can't be healthy."

Dick laughs even harder and slides down the counter to the floor, bent over from laughing so hard.

Wally glares at him. "You know what, Boy Blunder? _You_ come take a shot."

"What even started this?" Megan asks confusedly.

"Fine." Dick wipes off his laughing tears and chuckles, standing up with his stomach still tight from laughing. "Roy-boy, give me your glass, you look tipsy anyways."

Roy snorts and pushes it at him, grinning because both he and Wally knowing that Dick has no heat tolerancy. Dick smirks and gulps down half of it before his eyes suddenly go wide and cheeks brilliantly red. He swallows heavily, then pales and rushes to the bathroom, wretching.

Wally and Roy are still laughing ten minutes later when Dick comes back in, staggering and gulping water.

Roy pushes the shot glass at him. "Dude, put this down. We don't waste around here."

Dick gags over the sink and blindly throws a dish towel at him as he and Wally cry laughing.

_...but a best friend watches you stumble all over the place and says, "Dude, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste." _

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews always appreciated! Quotes always needed! <strong>

**Thanks ya'll! **

**:)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for all the quotes and reviews, especially LiveaLittleDarlin, 4ever2010, and cooliochick5!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YJ or anything, place, or person in this story. Especially the Windex.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will help you with your chores...<em>

Roy rolls his eyes and looks back over to where Wally and Dick are lounging on _his_ couch, watching him with mildly interested eyes. He kicks the dustpan closer to his dirt pile and says, "You guys _could_ help. Those windows are so gross you can't open them."

"Hey, _you_ bought this crappy apartment," Wally points out, munching on an apple.

"So you two came over...to watch me clean my crappy apartment?" Roy clarifies, picking up on the unspoken disdain as he sweeps the dirt into the dustpan.

Dick nods innocently. "Uh-huh."

"Really? You have nothing better to do with yourselves?" Roy asks incredulously, trying to fit together how a genuis IQ acrobat and a fun-loving speedster couldn't find themselves something to do other than stare at him while he cleans.

Both shake their heads.

Roy frowns at the two and decide they must be up to something, but grabs the Windex and a cloth anyways. After about twenty minutes of silence and quiet whispers Wally stands up, zips over to his side, and stares at the window he was washing with acute interest.

"What?" Roy asks, prickly.

Dick comes up next to Wally and tilts his head, examining the window himself.

"_What?_"

"Yeah, I see it too, Walls." Dick jabs a spot on the window. "You missed a spot, Roy-boy."

Roy grabs Wally's collar and the back of Dick's jacket and throws them bodily out into the hallway.

The granny across the hall glares at Roy sternly as Dick and Wally ham it up, faking hurt on the filthy carpet. Roy looks at her with a _mind your own business_ look and slams the door, reminding himself that next time Dick was sentenced to washing the Batmobile, he was going over to just _watch._

_...but a best friend will stand behind you and say, "You missed a spot." _

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will be by your side when you get an operation...<em>

Dick comes to very, very slowly, the world foggy. He can't feel any part of his body and he's so tired he can't look anywhere but up. Dimly, he hears voices, and then two faces appear in his vision.

For a minute, Dick can't even process who they are, but then the red hair kicks in and he blinks, trying to figure out what's going on. He can't feel anything, which means he's been under, but the ceiling's white, not black like the Batcave...weird...

"Robin?" Wally asks gently, voice low. "Robby, you're in the dentist's. You had to get your wisdom teeth pulled. _And_ get some fake teeth. _And_ realign some of your _real_ teeth."

Dick stares at him blankly. This makes no sense. His teeth feel...well, they don't feel. At all.

"You got whacked in the teeth by a crowbar," Roy adds helpfully, and Dick automatically associates _crowbar_ with _Joker_, but the fact that they are calling him _Robin_ doesn't make any sense. Why would Bruce take him to the dentist as _Robin?_

Oh. Crowbar. Kind of hard to explain if you're the billionaire playboy's son.

Dick asks, "What happened?" but the two give him weird looks.

"Dude, you didn't open your mouth," Wally explains, frowning, but gueses at what he said. "We ran into a trap, remember?"

"_Kid Flash_ ran into a trap," Roy corrects, rolling his eyes. "_You_ ran after him. And got your teeth smashed in, literally."

This still makes no sense, but what matters is that it's not solely Dick's fault.

Wally is obviously the reason why he can't feel his mouth...or body.

So it's Wally's fault.

Sure. Let's go with that. Dick closes his eyes again and ignores the redheads bickering over him as he drifts off, exhausted.

_...but a best friend is probably the reason you need the operation in the first place._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will disagree when you say words can't hurt you...<em>

"It's fine, guys," Dick shrugs it off, trying to ignore his team's worried looks as he patters on his keyboard. "I get called midget all the time."

"It's not very nice of them," Megan pouts, worried for her friend.

"Nah, but words can't hurt you."

Wally scoffs and zips away. Dick looks up, surprised, in time to have a dictionary smash over his head.

"OUCH!" Immediately Dick rubs the rising bruise and glares over at Wally, who has zipped, armed with the dictionary, out of the way. "What the hell, man?"

"_Words can't hurt you,_" Wally mocks in a high-voice before snorting, unimpressed. "You of all people shouldn't say that."

"And why in the hell not?" he demands, still rubbing at his sore head.

"One, you might have the most poignent, sharp tongue that's ever appeared on earth-"

"Did he just say 'poignent'?" Artemis asks Megan.

"-and two, obviously words_ do _hurt, or no one would've come up with that stupid statement in the first place!"

"Your sense makes no sense," Dick snaps.

"Whatever!" Wally snaps back, smacking him over the head with the dictionary again.

"Would you stop that?" Dick grabs it from him and stalks back to his room to replace it.

"Next time I'll use a thesaurus!" Wally yells, but he's in a better mood already and is half-laughing. "It fits you better, O Destroyer-of-Language!"

"I do _not_ destroy language, I _enhance_ it!"

"Whatever!"

_...but a best friend will smack you over the head with a dictionary to prove otherwise._

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will drop it when you say 'I'm okay'...<em>

"Are you alright, Robin?" Kaldur asks gently as Dick rushes to hide the circus poster under his pillow from where he's sitting on the bed.

Dick looks up to where Kaldur is standing in the door frame and fakes a smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks, Kal."

Kaldur offers a small smile and leaves, despite the way Dick's voice wavers.

Immediately Dick takes out the poster and looks down into his family's faces. The week of his parents' deaths always leaves Dick wheeling, breath tight, klutzier, less focused. Bruce knows better than to reprimand him this week; he can't help it, and Bruce understands what that kind of loss creates in a person.

He smooths out the crinkle in the old poster and traces his mother's smiling face with his finger. _You remind me of a little robin, _she had smiled the night before she died. _We could call you our flying squirrel,_ his dad had laughed, squeezing him tight.

Dick bites down on his trembling lip.

"Robby?" Wally asks hesitantly, making Dick jump. Immediately the redhead zips in to sit on his bed, looking worriedly into his friend's masked face. He softens his voice. "Dickie, what's wrong?"

"I'm okay," Dick says automatically.

Roy appears in the doorway and shuts the door after him, coming to kneel down in front of the acrobat. Roy tilts Dick's head up and takes off his mask, so they make eye contact. "Good try. Now tell us what's wrong."

Dick silently shows them the poster. Immediately both boys understand and they hug him, hard, shifting from 'best bros' to 'brothers' mode. Tears silently slide down Dick's cheeks and both redheads ignore them, thankfully. Dick digs his face into Roy's neck and listens to their heartbeats, trying to regulate his hitched breathing.

"They'd be so proud of you, Dick," Roy whispers, patting his back soothingly as Wally squeezes his knee, ignoring the gasps and sputters.

"It's okay, buddy," Wally says softly, joking gone. "We're right here. Shhhh."

Dick just sits between them, and through the tears, silently thanks God that he still has a family.

_...but a best friend will look you in the eye and say, "Good try. Now tell me what's really wrong." _

* * *

><p><em>A good friend will go to the store and buy you a pregnancy test...<em>

"Here, Dick, here's the extra one I have. Unused, I swear." Artemis says, coming into her and Wally's living room with a small box. Wally zips over to her and rests a hand on her lower back, grinning like the lovesick newly wed that he is. "Tell Babs I said 'good luck'."

Dick grins at her a little sheepishly. "Thanks, Arty."

They chat idly for a few more minutes before Artemis hugs him good-bye and Wally whacks his back with a too-mischievious grin.

As Dick pulls out of the drive, he sees that Wally's on his cell phone and Artemis is rolling her eyes.

Never a good sign.

Behind the closed door of their small one-bedroom apartment, Dick anxiously twists his wedding ring around his finger as Babs and he stare, captivated, at the little stick that's about to change their future...possibly.

A huge check appears on the strip.

The two stare at it, then at each other, before Babs squeals and Dick whoops, sweeping her up into his arms and whirling her around, yelling over each other in their excitement.

And then there's pounding on the door. They freeze, abruptly wary.

"Yes?" Dick calls slowly, braced for an unhappy neighbor.

"NAME IT AFTER ME!" Wally shouts through the door.

"He is _not_ out there," Babs gasps, scandalized.

"NAME IT AFTER _ME_!" Roy yells, sounding affronted.

"They both are," Dick confirms grimly.

"HEY, _I_ AM AWESOME!"

"They're _idiots_, aren't they?"

"YEAH? YOU'RE ALSO FLIGHTY! AT LEAST _I'M_ NOT FLIGHTY!"

"Yeah, but they're _our_ idiots."

"I'M _NOT_ FLIGHTY!"

"_Our? _They are _your_ idiots. Go...make them not be here."

"ARE TOO!"

"Fine, fine," Dick says calmly, striding out the door.

About five seconds later she hears both redheads pounding down the hallway and the unforgettable sound of a Batarang just _barely_ missing somebody's head.

"DUDE! YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME!"

"Oh, Wally." Babs shakes her head, puts her hand on her stomach, and goes to call Artemis to thank her and tell her the good news...and possibly warn her that her husband is under attack from the infamous _Nightwing._

_...but a best friend will pound on the door and scream, "Name it after me!"_

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, that last one was weird. But I had to put Artemis in there somewhere-she's been conspiciously absent lately! <strong>

**Thanks again! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for all the reviews! This is a special chapter based on a quote that's not Good Friend/Best Friend quote.**

**Thanks, Yume no Anime! **

**Tell me what you think! Next chapter's back to normal lay-out!**

**Disclaimer: I do not known YJ or any person, place, or thing in this story. **

* * *

><p><em>You will always be my friend, you know too much. <em>

Roy has long since been accustomed to having one or both of his best friends say weird things at weird times. After all, one is a certified genuis and the other has superspeed to think with. The way they think, and thus speak, can be considered...strange.

Still, Dick's statement is a little strange, even for Dick.

"You two will always be my friends," Dick says casually and out of nowhere, balancing his entire body on one hand. He ducks his head a little so he can see them better and smiles, a sincere smile, not his typical devil-may-care grin.

Wally and Roy blink at him from their position on Roy's couch, in front of Roy's tiny TV.

"Uh...what?"

Dick puts on foot down and stands up in a ta-da gesture, twisting to see them. "You two will always be my friends."

"Well, _yeah,_ Dick, of course." Wally tilts his head, confused, probably trying to trace previous conversations that brought up this one. Roy's given up on that tactic long ago.

"Where'd that come from?" Roy asks quizzically.

Dick drops down in front of them on his butt, looking up with bright blue eyes. It's one of Dick's classic 'look I'm the adorable baby brother' moves, and Roy and Wally fall for it every time. "I was just thinking about it. You guys will always be my friends because you know too much."

Wally blinks and leans away warily. "You're going to off us, aren't you?"

Dick laughs. "No. I'm just saying. Outside of the Manor and Barry and Ollie, you're the only ones that know my real identity. We grew up together, so you know every embarassing thing that's ever happened to me. You guys could very easily be my downfall."

Both Roy and Wally are nonplussed. Only Bats could think about friendship in such terms.

"So," Dick continues, falling back so that he's in a sit-up position to look up at them, "You'll always have to be my friends so I can keep an eye on you!"

Wally recovers first, of course. "Well...we can say the same thing about you!"

Now Roy and Dick are looking at him, confused.

"I mean...not the whole identity thing, but the grew-up-together-know-the-intimate-details thing. Especially _you_, Dick. You have some kind of talent for showing up in time for epic fails."

Roy rolls his eyes. "No, you just epically fail a lot."

"Hey!" Wally lunges at him, but Roy rolls over to his back and catches Wally's chest with his foot, propping him up, away from Roy's face. "I _do not _epically fail, Dick just always shows up for them! And what about you? _You_ shot all those guys with your knock out gas and _then_ got caught by Ollie! That's a fail, dude! F-A-L, fail!"

Dick bursts out laughing in time for Roy to register Wally's error. The speedster stares at the laughing duo for a minute, and then blushes bright red. "H-hey! I _meant_ F-A-I-L! I just got caught up!"

"Oh no, _that_ was a fail," Roy laughs, rolling over and making Wally stand up on the couch without his foot on his chest. "F-A-I-L, fail."

"Whatever!" Wally slumps down into the cushions and points at Roy. "You'll always have to be _our _friend because _we _have so much dirt on you it's not even funny."

Roy snorts disbelievingly. "Yeah, _sure._"

"We do," Dick pipes up, back in his original one-handed handstand. "That time you shot off your arrow net and you shot it into the wind and trapped yourself?"

"Or that time Ollie dangled you off the roof because you ran off?"

"Or when you hit Ollie with an electric arrow?"

"Or that time Ollie hit _you _with an electric arrow?"

"Or when you fell out of a window trying to line up a shot?"

"Or the mud-football game?"

"Dude," Dick looks over at Wally, frowning, "That was last week. We _all_ did that."

"Whatever." Wally waves him off. "See? You always have to be our friend, Roy, because we know too much about you _not_ to be."

Roy rolls his eyes and slides down to the floor to tap the toe of his shoe against Dick's forehead. "Listen, for all the stupid things I did, you've both done at least ten times as many. Point is that I'll _always _be your friend because you'll _always _be _my_ friends, okay? It has nothing to do with how much we know about each other."

Dick flops down and grins at him. "Still, we've got a _lot_ of blackmail for each other."

"Comes with the territory." Roy lets Wally zip up next to him, under his arm. "Now, would the two of you _shut up_ so I can watch CSI?"

"I'll get popcorn!" Wally volunteers, rocketing out the door, probably to go to the movie theater down the street.

"Wonders if he knows that movie theater closed down last week?" Dick asks casually. Roy just smiles at him and listens for Wally's footsteps down the hall...right..._now._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks again! :)<strong>


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